


The Get-Along Sweater

by lelophant



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, idk what the fuck to even tag this as so i'm just not gonna even bother, rated t for swearing n stuff, this takes place in an au where lucas goes back to the bureau btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 17:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10496178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lelophant/pseuds/lelophant
Summary: Lucas and Magnus were arguing.  This wasn't abnormal, obviously, they “hated” each other (Taako always insisted on putting quotation marks around hated, he was eighty percent sure they were fucking).  But this was getting ridiculous.





	

“Well, golly fucking gee Magnus, what the hell was I _supposed_ to do?”

Lucas and Magnus were arguing. This wasn't abnormal, obviously, they “hated” each other (Taako always insisted on putting quotation marks around hated, he was eighty percent sure they were fucking). But this was getting ridiculous. 

Before, a fight would last for about twenty minutes and only happen weekly (maybe twice a week, but that was bearable). Now, arguments lasted for _hours_ and occurred daily. That was slightly less tolerable.

No one really knew what they were screaming about today, no one was paying enough attention to the actual words being said to find out. They just knew there was yelling and was too fucking early for this.

“It's too _fucking_ early for this.” Taako grumbled. He and Merle were sat in the dining area doing what one does when there's no mission and no training scheduled for the day; absolutely nothing.

“Taako, it's two PM,” Merle said. He chuckled a bit. “Then again, when is it ever _not_ too early to listen to them fighting?” They both jumped at the sound of a pot shattering against a wall and Taako slid back down into his seat, wondering how hard he would need to bang his head against the table to kill himself.

“Yeah… they do sure fight a lot, don't they?” a voice from behind Taako said. He turned and saw Noelle standing (well, floating) there, looking pretty miserable. Merle moved a chair out with his foot. Noelle gave him a funny look and then stared at the almost comically tiny chair. Merle gestured more insistently for her to sit down and she tried her best to line her body up with the seat. She gently settled into the chair and it immediately broke under her weight.

“Welp, that was a fruitless endeavor, huh?” said Noelle from underneath the table. Taako and Merle both laughed at that, but the moment was cut short with a particularly loud yell from… Magnus? Probably, the voice was too deep to be Lucas. Taako groaned and put his head in his hands and Merle plugged his ears.

“Can you stop fighting for two seconds?” Taako yelled out. No one answered.

“What do you expect? They hate each other.” Merle said.

“Well, that doesn't mean they have to yell in the common area this early in the day!” 

“It’s still two PM, Taako.”

“Listen, listen- shut up.” Taako said. “I’m a simple wizard, I don’t ask for much-”

“Yeah, right.” Merle snorted

“ _Like I was saying_ \- I don't ask for much, but what I am asking for is for them to shut the hell up.”

Noelle, who had been silent for all this time, suddenly floated up above the table with a huge grin on her face. She sped away from the table and the broken chair, leaving a very confused Merle and Taako behind.

“Wait- where are you going?” Merle called out.

“I’ve got an idea!” Noelle called back, already halfway out the doorway.

“That doesn't even remotely answer my question.” Merle said.

Taako placed a hand on his shoulder. “Just let her go. Though, whatever this _idea_ is, it better have something to do with getting those two-” Another pot shattering against a wall cut him off. “To _shut up_.”

~ 

That very day, Fantasy Costco sold its entire supply of yarn. Yes, Noelle sure did have a plan.

The plan actually went into action two days later, when it was finally complete. It was another fight, this time about… no one could really tell with this one either. Everyone was pretty much ignoring the insults thrown back and forth in the common area. That was until they heard someone shout in surprise. 

Taako and Merle walked into the common area, fully expecting that someone had just gotten physical with the other. What they found instead was a very confused Lucas and Magnus and an extremely proud Noelle.

Lucas and Magnus were standing back to back in the middle of the common room held together by a multicolored sweater with the words “This Is Out Get-Along Sweater” hastily stitched on the front. Taako was doubled over in laughter and Merle had immediately run out of the room, yelling something about how he needed to grab a fantasy camera and how this was definitely going on the Candlenights cards. Surprisingly enough, Magnus and Lucas didn't find it to be particularly funny.

“Noelle, what is this?” Magnus asked, struggling to move around in the sweater.

“It's an intervention of sorts. Since you two were always fighting, I figured it's time you found something to really… bring you together.” Noelle said. You could practically _hear_ her smiling. “I call it-”

“Th-the- _holy fucking SHIT_ \- the Get-Along Sweater!” Taako was on the floor, writhing in laughter. “ _Fuck_ , Noelle, you’re a GENIUS.”

Noelle was beaming with pride and Merle slid through the doorway, immediately taking a snapshot of the two.

There was never another fight. Ever again.


End file.
